so i don't even really know how many people look at this blog (intentionally) or even read what i write or anything.
it's hard to keep people entertained without just posting a shitload of pictures of things that people can infinitely scroll through.
and i'm just as guilty as anyone. my attention span is short.
i have to think you are really cool or interesting or have a crush on you to read anything you write if it's more than a couple lines.
so i guess i kinda hope things work along those lines the other way around.
that if you're reading this, or you look at my blog on a regular or semi regular basis, you either think i'm cool, or interesting, or you have a crush on me. or all of the above. or two of those things. whatever.

and if you are reading this, and you are someone who is my friend or someone who would like to be my friend, or someone who talks to me sometimes and would  maybe like to talk to me more, i would just like to say that i am really bad at that.
i am horrible at getting back at people unless i am thoroughly invested in them.
which is rare.
i'm realizing all of this now.
i used to be super friendly on the internet, back in the msn days.
i craaaved the chatting.
now, i'm always offline.
im on. oh yeah, im on. but i'm off.
i dont know.
which is well, interesting because, i HATE when people don't get back to me. especially if it's someone i just want to get to know. you know? there's just those people you just wanna be chill with, be friends with, get to "know" if you know what i mean.. and then.. they just never get back to you.
i think that kind of shit has just happened to me so much that i'm just like, so un-involved now.
or i try to be. or i am un-involved with the wrong people haha, if that makes sense.
whatever. so that's just a disclaimer.

and beyond that, shit is just so shitty lately with school work and papers and shit.
and not really having a job. being low on cash.
can't go out. can't chill.
school no work school no work.
school work no money no chill out of the house no late nights.

but i've got some things. that are good. that are working out. a bit a bit.

i'm painting now, at least.
(even though i have no idea what to do for my drawing project and i hope i wont be screwed)

to much info?
oh wait when did i start giving a shit.