things

yeah, so last weekend i went camping for my gym class and it rained and poured all weekend and i learned some shit about my inner nature and how hiking with a really heavy bag and setting up a tarp in the freezing rain and teamwork (in a way) aren't really my thing.

(we had to make a journal)

i like being in the outdoors and doing nothing.  roasting toast with nutella over a fire sounds like something i could probably do my whole life (simple meals, chilling)

i've been thinking a bit about simplicity in life, mostly because of a book i've been reading that ryan lent me, and it talks about some things that are so true.
like.. how the easiest decisions are made when you stop trying so hard to make a decision, and how you shouldn't try to force yourself to do things when you know you can't, like fitting a square peg into a circle hole.  but then it's like, isn't it important to have goals for yourself? and to try and push yourself to do things out of your nature? because then you can be really happy when you do accomplish those things.. but then again, there are times when i really wish i wouldn't have forced myself, because it really didn't do anything for me. like go swimming in some really dangerous fucking currents last summer because some "dude" would have been telling me that i should try shit and not be scared.  but it was totally dangerous! and even though i am fine, the whole time i was completely uncomfortable and unhappy and would have been perfectly content and happy lying on a hot rock in the sun.

see how well i can make a meal?

I'm going to go watch a movie with my father even though i don't really feel like going and there are other movies i would prefer to go see, but sometimes you have to do things you don't really want to do.  being simple and letting your mind go blank does lead to simplicity and happiness, but in our world it's just not possible.  there are too many other people around, and being simple is seen as lazy and uncooperative and even perhaps selfish to a certain extent.  which is really unfortunate, because i must rather live like winnie the pooh.