everytime i get over something i am so desperate for it again it is ridiculous!
but it always ends the same!
i need to find the answer to my solution!
i need to find the exact answer!
but where does it fit in in all of this?
i do not know.
not in this life, it feels.
it would all have to change and be completely different for it to work, it feels.
and so then i am left, with no answ-
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i would love to be in lovefirst moments are good.
i, personally, dont want the commitment.
i love to be loved and i want to want someone, but i don't want to have the commitment.
the "commitiment" part seems like such an unnattractive idea for some reason.true, but i am so picky.
and i can't be, i have no right to be.
and i dont like commitment.
you know something... i would give up women over writing. i can always write love into my stories. real life is too much work.
but maybe that's something we really learn as we grow as people, we learn to love... like a skill of sorts.
writing, reading, movies.. they're all a way to escape reality and live in a fantasy world where we like things better.
love is a very complicated thing it seems, just as life is.
there is no way you can really figure it out
and why is love so important anyways? (and i mean love in a sense to have one partner who you spend your life with)
you can live without that, but we place such importance on it!
maybe it's because its kind of nice, or atleast there are beautiful moments in a relationship..
aren't we all really just looking for magic?
this is cool, but i think as we get older,people get married for a shared income,it seems sad really,also the idea of having kids is pretty narcissistic "ohhh the baby has MY eyes and her mothers NOSE bleh bleh wtv"
ReplyDeleteBut love and relationships,in reality you cant be niave enough to think it will last forever.But the idea is oh so sweet.
You are distorting the big picture,living with someone forever,within a life time you wouldnt not be able to figure yourself out,imagine trying to figure out your own spouse, in my opinion thats whats its all about.Finding someone you can learn from each and everyday.Most likely the reason why opposites attract
i was never sure whether you were full on lesbian and at the time i was to shy to ask,it was never clear, maybe thats partially why we had no connection.for you heart lies somehwere else lol how corny, but yeah thats my 2 cents i hope it doesnt leave you more confused or lost.
this is Ryan btw, im not a creep! i just like your random drawings, i need not explain myself to youuuu!
i am not a full on lesbian.
ReplyDeletesecondly, i'm just very frustrated with myself because one second i want something and then the next i decide i don't and i fuck it all because i feel like it's not working out.
i'm pretty sure i shat on alot of opportunities that way, but there's nothing really i can do about it.
i'm just a constant ball of confusion, really.
i guess when i find that "right person", or wtv, maybe that will change.
who knows, i try not to think about it, but of course i do.